Howard
the Duck
(1986)
Rated: PG
Runtime: 1 Hour and 50 Minutes
Reviewer: Dale
Grade: CLast night, for inexplicable reasons that, perhaps, are best left unexplored, I found myself watching "Howard the Duck".
And yet, strangely enough, I found it strangely compelling. I wouldn't say that it was great, or even GOOD, but I was entertained for the most part all the way through the film, which is more than I can say about a lot of movies.
You should all know the plot, it's pretty simple. A duck is transported from his duck planet (yeah, that's all the more name it ever gets) to Cleveland by a matter teleportation ray or something. Anyway, Howard is soon taken in by lovely punk rocker Beverly (Lea Thompson). Soon a geeky scientist (Tim Robbins, in a role that will shock you) and a less geeky scientist (Jeffrey Jones) discover how to send him home....only they inadvertently bring down a hideous monster instead which Howard must battle to save Earth (a planet that doesn't really even like him).
Okay, this movie has a plethora of problems. I consent that much. First of all, Howard never asserts himself as anything more than a smartass in a bad duck suit (oh, and it IS bad). Secondly, the jokes are pretty terrible. This movie does that pathetic Flintstones style of humor. You know what I'm talking about? Well, remember how in "The Flintstones" their idea of "humor" was having everything have "rock" or "bone" or "stone" in the title? (i.e. "Bruce Springstone"?) Well, here Howard shops at "Bloomingducks". He has a "MallardCard". He subscribes to "PlayDuck". Har de fucking har, eh? Ugh. The other jokes not involving the duck planet are equally shitty, for the most part. And the dialogue is one stinker after another. Then again, why a duck from another planet, as long as we're being critical? I mean, what the fuck? I hear the comic book was pretty good, and insanely clever. But the movie really hasn't got much of a clue.
Although, there is something intangibly amusing about this friggin movie. Maybe it's seeing Jeffrey Jones possessed by some kind of space demon and doing things like sticking his tongue into the cigarette lighter of a semi. Maybe it's seeing Lea Thompson seducing a duck in her underwear. Maybe it's that duck suit, which is often unintentionally hilarious. Maybe it's the fact that no one in the movie really seems to care that there's a three foot tall duck running around smoking cigars. Maybe it's Tim Robbins making an ass out of himself. But whatever the reason, the film is oddly (and I do mean oddly) compelling. The effects (aside from the duck) aren't bad. And the dialogue isn't that much worse than in Episode One. In fact, it might be better. And there's something about the concept of an alien duck running around Cleveland that appeals to me.
But, on the other hand, you've got a duck with nipples. Then again, that is sorta funny.