Paint
Your Wagon
(1969)
Rated: PG-13
Runtime: 2 Hours and 46 Minutes
Reviewer: Dale
Grade: B+"Paint Your Wagon" may not exactly be perfect, but it's so much damn fun you probably won't care. I don't say this about many movies, how many can I say this about?, but "Paint Your Wagon" is rowdy, raunchy, two-fisted fun.
"Paint Your Wagon" is the story of a grizzled old miner (Lee Marvin was born to play this role, and I think he played it in about every movie) who takes a young farmer (Clint Eastwood) under his wing when a freak wagon accident kills his brother. Lee accidentally discovers gold while burying Clint's brother, and is good enough to share the claim with Eastwood before he even regains consciousness. As Lee says: "There ain't a commandment I ain't shattered somehow, but I would never cheat a partner." Clint doesn't have a name in this movie either, but that's okay because neither does the town. You have to admire a town where the sign above the entrance to town reads: "No-Name City, the Hell-thiest town in the West. Population: Drunk."
The only problem with No-Name City is that there are no women (much like Richland Center). So when a mormon with two wives arrives in town, the populace is about to hang him until he is kind enough to auction his more stubborn wife off to the highest bidder. Lee, drunk, horny and loaded with cash, is of course the highest bidder.
But soon Clint finds himself in love with the woman as well. And she loves him. But she also loves Lee, and she's married to him. So what is a girl to do? Why, marry both of them, of course. After all, one of them is rich and one of them is Clint Eastwood. It's the best of both worlds. And the men don't mind. They're buddies. They share a claim, why not share a wife?
You can already see that this film is rootin'-tootin' fun and if it isn't already on your rental list, then what the hell is wrong with you? My main problem with the movie is not the story (it's one of the more amusing yarns I've ever witnessed) or the actors (it's fun to see Clint play a more kind and gentle and moral character than he usually does) but the songs. You see, this is a musical. Don't worry, there aren't that many songs, and most of them are rather short.
But the only problem is that some of the songs ("Here it is", "I Was Born Under a Wand'rin Star" and the hilariously titled "I Talk to Trees") are good, catchy and hummable. But some of them (most of the soft and tender ones, soft and tender is not something this movie is great at) are pretty mundane. That aside, however, you still owe it yourself to see this movie. If for nothing more than the scene in which a bull, a preacher, and a very drunk Lee Marvin run through the tunnels beneath the town, knocking out the supports and causing the town to fall into the earth. I'm telling you, it's funnier than Jeremy Mayberry riding a little, pink bicycle at three in the morning.
Trust me: that's pretty damn funny.